I’ve only gotten two pictures so far and I need more! Anything goes! You don’t have to submit a photo of your face if you don’t want to. You can send in a picture of any part of your body that you are “revealing” to the world with acceptance and love. Toes you hate, wild hair, short eyelashes, a square behind (that’s me!), a scar…on and on.
There’s only about a week left to send in your photos, so please don’t forget! I would LOVE to include you!
(Please be assured, I will not be including the names of the people participating for privacy reasons. I will be making a collage out of all the photos sent to me, and posting them on the blog with no names or any other written identification.
I have been thinking a lot about femininity. What it means. Who defines it. How we express it. I’ll be writing on some related topics over the next few weeks.
But today, I want to talk about femininity in general. What does it mean? What ideas did you get about femininity when you were growing up? When I think of my childhood, these are the women who seemed feminine to me:
Daryl Hannah in Splash
Wonder Woman
Briar Rose / Princess Aurora
Jennifer Beals in Flashdance
Notice a theme here? They are are super beautiful, super skinny, and in most cases, super sexualized.
I was lucky to have a brief period of time during which I was immune to the cultural ideal of femininity. Mostly in preschool, LOL. In fact, I remember that at that time, I equated femininity with physical strength. I wanted to be the most feminine girl at my preschool, and to achieve that, I would do just about anything to prove my strength.
We had a bike track at my preschool (perhaps that’s where I learned to love bicycling?). Yes, an entire track built into the playground, designed for the tricycles – we had a whole fleet of those. My favorite tricycle was the rickshaw trike – a saddle for the “driver” and a two-person seat over the back two wheels. Every recess, I would run to the rickshaw trike and yell for my friends to get on. Two kids often weren’t enough. More, more! I’d try to get three or four on the back seat just to see if I could make it all the way around the track, pedaling their weight. That’s what made me feel feminine.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t more than a year or two later that my sister and I were running around in our California bikinis with washcloths stuffed into the bras, pretending we were Wonder Woman. We still equated femininity with strength, but strength wasn’t enough anymore. We had to have “breasts,” too.
Later, we learned another lesson about “femininity” – one that is, from my current perspective, horrifying. One of our favorite movies, being rabid Hayley Mills fans, was the 1963 Disney film, Summer Magic. What was the message about femininity from that film? “Be radiant, but delicate. Memorize the rules of etiquette. Be demure, sweet and pure. Hide the real you!” Thankfully, Hayley’s character, Nancy, is such an independent, strong, tomboyish character that her actions offset this one awful moment in the film. We admired hardy Nancy far more than the more “feminine” characters in this film, Lallie Joy and Julia.
These days, I contemplate the issue of femininity a lot. Since I ride around on my bike most of the time (instead of driving), I tend to opt for comfort. There are a lot of people out there who love biking in stylish dresses and even high heels, but I’m not one of them! However, I can’t help but notice that when I’m out on my bike in my workout pants and fleece jackets (or whatever other ugly-but-functional clothing I tend to wear), I don’t always feel that good about my appearance. I don’t usually think about my appearance in the first place, since biking is truly fun for me, and I just enjoy being in the moment. But when I arrive at my destination, I always feel a bit…dowdy.
I was thinking that maybe I should put more effort into wearing nicer, or even more feminine clothing while biking, which is ultimately what got me thinking about this subject in the first place. Soon after this thought appeared in my head, I read an article about herbalist Susun Weed – someone I admire greatly. I looked at the picture of her (in her classic headwrap, jeans and T shirt) and thought: This is a woman, too, and therefore, this is another expression of femininity. So what am I worried about?
Picture source: HerbTV Online
Granted, I can imagine that our backwards culture would reject the notion of Susun Weed as “feminine,” or “sexy,” or any other such rigid categorization of the female appearance. Which only leads me to wonder: Is our culture’s notion of femininity anti-feminist?
Stay tuned because I have lots to say on this subject…and I have the feeling that some of it will inspire some heated conversations!
How dirty have you gotten this month? More than usual? If so, pat yourself on the bath. You’ll know you’ve really gotten down and dirty when letting yourself get a little dirty doesn’t freak you out!
I intended to write more updates on this little challenge but I always forget how busy November is! Plus, with the cold weather, I know people don’t like to cut back their delectable hot showers – myself included! So if I do this again next year, spring would probably be better. April or May, maybe.
Anyway, I’ve slacked a bit but haven’t given up. I have easily kept up my every-third-day shower routine. That has been so easy that I think I’m going to continue that throughout the winter months. Even though going from every other day to every third day isn’t cutting my showers in half, it’s still a significant decrease.
As for actually cutting my shower time in half – that has been more of a challenge! My first timed shower was 12 minutes, making my goal 6 minutes. I have yet to achieve that, though most of my showers since then have been 7 minutes – pretty close! There were two days when I was so cold that I lingered…and lingered…and lingered. Those showers ended up being 13 and 15 minutes long! Whoops! But I’m not concerned. This is just a fun challenge and I’m still doing well and trying my best.
Ultimately, this challenge is just for fun. It isn’t that easy, of course – most of us love our long, hot showers! But it is supposed to challenge your perception of “clean.” My goal for all of you participants out there was to get people to shower every other day. Some of you already are doing that, which is why I added the option of shortening your shower. But many people can’t fathom showering every other day – and honestly, it’s not so bad and extremely liberating. That’s really what inspired this challenge, and I hope some of you tried getting dirtier and found it to be less scary than you thought! LOL.
I’ll be writing a wrap-up post on this challenge next week and I would LOVE to hear from some of you. If you want to drop me a line at five5seed@gmail.com or on my Facebook fan page, I would love it. Let me know what your goal was for this challenge and whether or not you met it. Maybe let us know your emotional response to letting go of your perception of “clean,” too.
Until then, have a great week and a wonderful Thanksgiving for you American readers!
On March 3, 2010, the topic of conversation on Oprah’s talk show was Beauty Around the World. Features included:
Image: The Oprah Show
Jessica Simpson:
“I’m interested in learning more about myself and what I value in myself and letting that be the beautiful part of me, rather than putting on the makeup or wearing the right designer. It really is about the heart of a woman that makes her beautiful.”
Click here to read more about Simpson’s journey as she documents beauty ideals from different cultures in her new reality show The Price of Beauty.
Lisa Ling:
“I think what’s happening in China is symbolic of what has happened all over the world. Is it a good thing when women are completely obsessed with enhancing their look and becoming more beautiful? It’s a hard one to say because we all sort of are… It’s, I think, always unfortunate to see large groups of people becoming sort of slaves to the whole machine, if you will.”
Image: The Oprah Show
Click here to see more on China’s beauty evolution, including painful operations to make one taller, and plastic surgery to “Westernize” one’s features.
This picture was taken six months after I gave up shampoo. Not bad, huh?
What if I told you I haven’t used store-bought shampoo in my hair since August 2008? Or that I haven’t shampooed my hair every day since then, either? If you assume my hair looks like greasy rodent fur, here’s a picture to prove it looks just as good as the average shampoo user.
Despite the fact that my mother never shampooed every day, I grew up feeling that it would be absolutely disgusting not to shampoo at least once a day. (I’ve been guilty of shampooing twice a day on more than one occasion, as well.) All the commercials and ads in magazines seemed to imply that beautiful, healthy women always shampoo at least once a day.
When I was about 28, and getting my hair cut at a fancy salon, I overheard two of the young, fashionable stylists talking behind me. One said to the other, “Can you wash my hair this afternoon, after my last client leaves? I haven’t washed it in two days and it’s starting to get a little grimy.”
I looked up at my stylist in shock and said, “Why did she go so long between shampoos?” My stylist replied, “No one should wash their hair every day. It is so bad for your hair.”
I decided her advice would only work on young, gorgeous women who didn’t have oily hair like mine, and went on with my daily routine.
In the spring of 2008, however, I started reading more about the dangers of chemicals in bath and body products. These are not only harmful to the user, but to the marine life that ends up swimming in the chemicals that leach into the water systems. According to EcoFriendOnline, our water systems are being polluted with a number of chemicals, including “parabens and other suspected endocrine disruptors often found in laundry soap and shampoo — chemicals that seem to be turning male frogs and fish into females.”
I was also hearing more and more that it simply isn’t good for your hair to wash it every day. I even heard that over-washing leads to oily hair.
[The] trend toward everyday cleansing might have triggered a vicious cycle, some experts say — shampoo cleanses by stripping the hair of its natural, necessary oils, causing the scalp to produce more oil in response, making it impossible for some to skip shampoo for even one day without sprouting a gigantic greaseball. – Melissa Dahl, MSNBC
Not to sound like Carrie Bradshaw here, but “I couldn’t help but wonder” if dialing back on the shampoo would help counter the oily hair problem.
I started to cut back to showering/shampooing every other day, rather than every day (even in the summer). I researched different eco-friendly shampoos, and ended up making my own, as well as experimenting with no-poo. I don’t dye my hair, I don’t use any styling products on it, and I try not to use a hair dryer whenever possible.
Yes, I have my bad hair days (maybe more than most, without having hairspray and a straightening iron), but I am generally very happy with my hair. My current stylist always comments on how healthy it is.
If you have been considering giving your hair the chance to re-balance itself, stay tuned. I’ll be sharing more information as the week goes on – a shampoo recipe, the no-poo movement, and more.
Imagine not fighting your hair anymore and still looking good…it is possible.
How often do you shampoo your hair? Every day? Twice a day?
In the early part of the 20th century, it was a cultural norm for women to wash their hair only once a MONTH. According to NPR, the New York Times published an article in 1908 informing women that it was okay to wash their hair twice a month. By the 1970′s, women were encouraged to wash their hair EVERY DAY. Who encouraged this beauty routine? The shampoo industry, of course.
Besides the fact that traditional shampoos contain questionable chemicals like sodium laureth sulfate, parabens, and fragrance, it is simply not healthy to wash your hair every single day. According to Michelle Hanjani, a Columbia University dermatologist, “If you wash your hair every day, you’re removing the sebum. Then the oil glands compensate by producing more oil.” Hanjani recommends that we wash no more than three times a week.
Many people are turned off by this idea, as our culture reveres the daily shampoo. For some of us (myself included), washing the hair less often than once a day is a major change. However, washing the hair less often has multiple benefits beyond just beauty. It is better for the environment (since you won’t be using as much water), and your utilities bill will reflect the reduction of water usage. Interested in learning more?
Over the next week or so, I’ll be discussing the no-poo movement, sharing hair care philosophies, and will post a wonderful DIY shampoo recipe. In the meantime, enjoy some of these classic shampoo commercials.
Most people wouldn’t naturally associate sex with armpits. But the advertising industry keeps the two topics closely entwined, making sure that our subconscious mind keeps pushing us toward that one, perfect deodorant, so we remain attractive to potential lovers.
For you men out there, there’s the overtly sexual Axe ads which promise the attention (read that: inappropriate sexual gestures) of scantily-clad women. Just so you know, in real life, most of us are put off by those overpowering scents!
Image credit: Procter & Gamble
Last summer, Old Spice put itself into the ring with their Ever Clear ads. Their stance: Residual deodorant under the arms is not only gross, but makes you a loser who will never get laid. Check out the picture of the “stupid weirdo” who obviously doesn’t use Ever Clear (left). From the New York Times (bold print added):
…Men probably have not been lying awake at night worrying about whether their underarms were pristine… “Our challenge was how do we bring that problem of having antiperspirant clumps in your pits more to life and have it be more unacceptable?” Mr. Bagley said. “And that’s what led us to the residue is evil campaign.”
With a target market of males 12 to 34, Old Spice has — like the competing deodorant and body spray brand Axe — relied heavily on over-the-top humor and promises of having an aphrodisiacal effect on women. (P.& G. said the product’s name being similar to Everclear, a brand of grain alcohol that might appeal to hard-partying young men because of its high alcohol content — up to 190 proof and illegal in some states — was strictly coincidental.)
Image credit: Procter & Gamble
Ladies get the “because you’re hot” visual from Secret Clinical Antiperspirant (right).
And what about this “clinical antiperspirant” flood? According to the NY Times:
Secret, the brand for women that is owned by Procter & Gamble, started the trend early in 2007 when it introduced Secret Clinical Strength, which has the same active ingredient as the original Secret — aluminum zirconium trichlorohydrex — in a concentration that is 25 percent higher (20 percent concentration versus 16 percent).
But the increase in the active ingredient is nothing compared with the increase in Secret Clinical Strength’s retail price, which averages about $8.50, more than double the original formula’s price, about $3, according to Information Resources.
Click here for more information on how this product works, creating “plugs” in your sweat glands, preventing them from expelling sweat from the body. Is that really wise?
The media has taught us to associate sweat with negative images and judgments. According to the article above, a person sweating is assumed to be anxious, overweight, and/or unfit, thanks to the influence of the ad industry. But we don’t buy that. Maybe it’s time to think again about a natural bodily function, and spend less time trying to correct or prevent it.
If you have been thinking about trying natural deodorant, then stay tuned. It is super easy to make and extremely affordable. No, it won’t prevent you from sweating, but you can count on it to keep you smelling fresh all day. Further, it won’t prevent your body from doing what it naturally needs to do. And best of all, you won’t be caking chemicals and heavy metals in your pores and sweat glands.
Think it over and be sure to check back tomorrow…
In the meantime, here’s some deodorizing ridiculousness for your entertainment from Axe:
Is this real? Do any of us look like this in real life, without special lighting, hovering stylists, an airbrush, and a wind machine? Maybe we would look like this if we bought the perfume in the ad??
Copyright: Calvin Klein
What is real beauty? The advertising industry has defined beauty for us, and continually bombards us with images to reinforce that notion (along with the message to buy dozens of corrective products for things that don’t need correcting). Click here for a great article on this (the quotation below is from this article), and be sure to take a moment to watch the video below if you haven’t seen it already.
The image [of women in the media] is artificial and can only be achieved artificially (even the “natural look” requires much preparation and expense). Beauty is something that comes from without; more than one million dollars is spent every hour on cosmetics. Desperate to conform to an ideal and impossible standard, many women go to great lengths to manipulate and change their faces and bodies. A woman is conditioned to view her face as a mask and her body as an object, as things separate from and more important than her real self, constantly in need of alteration, improvement, and disguise. She is made to feel dissatisfied with and ashamed of herself, whether she tries to achieve “the look” or not. Objectified constantly by others, she learns to objectify herself.
I hope to start exploring this more, each week, in the coming months. I would love to hear your feedback on it. Are you a mother trying to impart the ideals of true beauty in your young daughter? Are you a teenager struggling with your appearance? Are you entering your wise years and wondering how to find beauty in age?
I’m sorry to say that I still hear young women (pretty young women) tell me that they think they are ugly. When I ask why they think so, they usually answer with one of the following two answers:
-I don’t look like so-and-so-celebrity.
OR
-The kids at school make fun of my nose/butt/eyebrows/hair, etc.
snagwiremedia.com
Recently, the headlines have been squawking about Heidi Montag’s ten plastic surgeries in one day. Hearing her story struck a chord for us here at 5 Seed.
According to the news stories, Heidi said she was teased for her “Jay Leno chin,” and her “big ears.” Hence the chin reduction and pinning back of her ears. She also related a story about not filling out a bra during a Playboy shoot and having to have her image digitally altered. Hence the double D breast implants.
It is troublesome that we, as women, often allow the outside world to define our beauty (and, in turn, our self-worth). We all have fantasies about what life would be like if that “one thing” about our appearance could be improved. But, like any good human, as soon as we get what we want, we find something else that needs to be changed before we can allow ourselves to be happy.
Do you struggle with your own appearance? What influences your feelings about how you look? Would you ever get plastic surgery? Does our society’s superficial obsession with beauty trouble you? What makes a woman TRULY beautiful?
Please note that we at 5 Seed in no way mean to disrespect Heidi Montag. This news story is simply a springboard for discussion.We are not making any judgments about Ms. Montag, or plastic surgery, in general. The following videos do not necessarily express the opinions of 5 Seed. Please leave a comment and tell us your respectful, compassionate opinions.
